Guiding Harry
by Evil Lady
Summary: A soap opera gone HP style. It was written off the top of my head, my first 'humor story', r/r!
1. Guiding Harry Primiere Episode

Guiding Harry

Guiding Harry

Discaimer: Harry Potter and all the other HP stuff is J.K. Rowling's stuff, and the word 'Guiding' belongs to Guiding Light or whoever owns it.

**A/N: I was really hyper when I wrote this and umm… It's a SOAP!!!! Hehe! HP style!!!! evil grins and I am a Harry/Ginny Hermione/George Ron-by-himself-coz-he's-a-dork person, k? so whoever ends up with whoever in this story gots nothing to do with my opinion because it's whatever my hands feel like writing. Oh yeah, I also enjoy seeing Snape go gay… and that's enough for now… Oh, I did watch Passions over the summer, so I know how those Soaps work…. :D**

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**Plot: I guess I have to start with something, umm… *closes eyes and points* k, Harry's with Moaning Myrtle to start, and Hermione's with Neville…. And Ginny's with Draco… Ron's with no one because he's a dork. Ok, here we go…**

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**_on some deserted island…_**

**Myrtle: Oh Harry, we're all doomed, doomed I tell you, DOOMED!!**

**Harry: Nuh-uh, I got a wand. What do you care, you're just a ghost who haunts a toilet!**

**Myrtle: I thought you loved me!**

**Harry: No, I never said that. **

**Myrtle: You mean, this has all been a lie?**

**Harry: Yeah, it's fake, duh!**

**Myrtle: ::sobs::**

**Ginny: :whispering to Hermione: I'm going to get Harry, no matter what it takes.**

**Hermione: You can't do that! Harry's in love with Myrtle, and how can you do that to Draco! It'll hurt his feelings!**

**Ginny: He has no feelings! Besides, I only pretend to like him for the money. I really like Harry.**

**Hermione: You're a terrible person, Ginny.**

**Ginny: Harry is supposed to be mine, and you know it!**

**Hermione: What-ever!!!**

**Ron: ::walking with his doll named Bob that he made come alive:: You know Bob, Myrtle's right, we're all doomed, and it's all Hedwig's fault!**

**Bob: Hedwig? How can Hedwig hurt Bob's princess Ronny?**

**Ron: Our only chance to survive is to turn ourselves into monkeys and work in the circus.**

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**A/N: Ok, kind of rushed, I know. But my hyperness moment wore off half way through it. I'm not good at funny stuff… In fact I think that was lame. Oh well, If you want more then Review it! If no one wants it continued, then I won't. Toodles!**


	2. Guiding Harry Episode 2

**Guilding Harry**

**Episode 2**

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A/N:  It's been over a year since I wrote the first chapter, but I'm trying to add chapters to everything today so hope you enjoy it!  BTW, if you were confused at all, the first chapter is supposed to be like the NBC soap Passions… so's this one because that's the only soap I'll actually watch lol Oh!  Bob was based off of Timmy, but -sniff- Timmy died :*( So you can expect a nice new evil Doll!

Bob:  Bob doesn't what his princess to be doomed.  Bob wants to save everyone!

**Ron:  Oh Bob, you silly doll.  You can't save everyone, they'll just be miserable anyway.**

**::show moves to Hogwarts since Warlock Island was sooo last year::**

**Hermione: Ginny, you can't do this to Harry!  You're forgetting about his feelings.  He doesn't love you!**

**Ginny: Oh yea? How would you know!  You're with Neville.**

**Hermione: I'm not.  I cheated on him with George.**

**Ginny: What? You used my brother!**

**Hermione: did not!**

**Ginny: did too!**

**Hermione: did not!**

**Ginny: did too!**

**Hermione: did not!**

**Ginny: did too!**

**Hermione: did not!**

**Ginny: did too!**

**Hermione: I did not.  I really love George.  We decided yesterday that we're getting married right after Draco gets out of the hospital.**

**Ginny:  Draco's in the hospital?  Since when?  And why?**

**Hermione:  Since now.  You broke his heart since you want to be with Harry.  He's suffering from brokenheartitis**

**Ginny:  Good.  Now I have to break up Harry and Myrtle!**

**~*~**

**Myrtle:  ::sobs:: Harry you said you loved me!**

**Harry:  Damn, woman!  We already went through this.  I never said that.  I really love Cho, but this evil writer isn't letting her be in this fic, so right now I love Ginny.**

**DUN DUN DUNNNN!**

**Ok guys how was that!  I'm really uninspired since this is such a corny fic, but hey!  I couldn't leave everyone hanging lol and -gasp- Harry said a bad word! Awww!**


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